Doug Stanhope quotes.

Here are two quotes from stand-up comedian Doug Stanhope. Seems like he has antinatalist leanings.

Suicide is another thing that’s so frowned upon in this society, but honestly, life isn’t for everybody. It really isn’t. It’s sad when kids kill themselves ’cause they didn’t really give it a chance, but life is like a movie: if you’ve sat through more than half of it and it sucked every second so far, it probably isn’t gonna get great right at the very end for you and make it all worthwhile. No one should blame you for walking out early. Dont get any ideas…

If you listen to anyone bitch about the economy for long enough, just let them talk, cuz you’ll eventually hear why it’s exactly their fault. And not just Wall Street people, just dumb fucks at a lunch counter in Flint, Michigan. “I’m just a simple man, with a simple wife and four simple children, and I just want an honest day’s work. Y’know, Obama’s exporting all or jobs overseas, now I can’t even find work.” You sad motherfucker– Hang on a second! Did you just say you had four children?! Wait, wait, you have four children? In Flint, Michigan?….Do you know how much it costs to raise a kid? The average cost to raise a single child to the age of seventeen is now $227,000. Almost a quarter of a million dollars! You have four of the fuckin’ things! In Flint, Michigan!…. Next time you hear some sad sack on 60 Minutes bitching about how he got fucked over by the economy, instead of children imagine he said quarter of a million dollar toys, fuckin’ boats and… “Yeah when they started laying off people in the late ’80s I made it through the first round of cuts. I said, ‘Baby, I don’t know what’s gonna happen in the future, so let’s get a quarter of a million dollar Lamborghini.’ And then I got the pink slip, got a six-month severance package, so I said, ‘Okay, baby, we’re really on shaky ground now, we’d better get a beach house and a speed boat.’ And now I can’t even find work because of Obamanomics. My wife’s pregnant with a quarter of a million dollar who-knows-what-it’s-gonna-be. I’m a victim.” No, you’re a gambling addict! You made a million dollar wager, and ya lost! You made a million dollar wager, on spec, with no money in the bank to back it up, and now the mob is comin’ to take your thumbs!

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One thought on “Doug Stanhope quotes.

  1. Michael June 25 2013 at 15:00 Reply

    Doug Stanhope. Voice of America – ABORTION IS GREEN

    http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YkgDhDa4HHo

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