Secret Confessions: How great is it to have a child?


This is an entry in the Pro-Abortion series.

There is a web site called Secret Confessions, where people send in their anonymous stories (or reply to said stories) on various topics. The particular topic I want to talk about is called “I hate being a mom.

While I admit this is not an argument against the pro-choice position or the anti-abortion position per se, I think no discussion of the abortion issue can ignore the regrets that women (and men) can get from having children. We hear a great deal about regrets that women get from aborting; we hear a great deal about how wonderful it is to have children; we hear a great deal about how selfish we are for not having children (as if there are any reasons for having children that are not completely and utterly selfish); we hear little about the other side, and when we do, it’s always accompanied by a mandatory “but it’s all worth it!”. Because this is a taboo topic in our societies, the only way we can get such confessions is through the anonymity of the Internet. This is why pages of this nature as so useful.

Here are some of the confessions for you to peruse.

***
I’m so happy to have found this site too! Isn’t it nice to know you’re not the only one? Sometimes when I’m walking around with my daughter at the zoo and see all the other mothers with their stair-stepper kids, like 3 or 4 kids right in a row and a baby on the way I think “what’s wrong with me? why can’t I do it like her?” I wonder why I feel so sad and depressed all the time. My daughter is beautiful and wonderful, smart and fun…but she’s the ONLY thing in my life. I’m a single mom and I won’t complain about that, actually I’d rather do this by myself than also have to handle her biological father and all of his baggage. He’s not involved with us at all, haven’t even gotten a phone call from him since her first birthday and my feeling is “with a father like that who needs a father?” I’m all she needs and more than enough. I’m a great mom and super patient and she’s a VERY involved child. Not much independent play or anything like that…it’s pretty much complete interface from her waking moment until I have to rock her to sleep every night for an hour! Then she’s awake during the night too, like every 90 minutes she comes to get me. I, too, feel like I can’t handle it. I feel like I’m being completely suffocated and there’s no way out. I understand loving your children but hating this motherhood gig! It’s incredible. I feel terrified when I realize how much of myself is left to me…none, absolutely none at all. It’s crazy! I get up with her in the morning and struggle with her over eating a good breakfast, I play with her and then struggle with her to get dressed, then we battle to get into the carseat, and I drop her off to daycare, where we struggle with one another there! I go to work and pick her up and battle over eating dinner (and it’s completely mystifying when the daycare lady tells me what a total delight she was, how she ate her lunch, cleaned up her toys and went down for her nap without so much as a sneeze!), then the bedtime (the most completely horrifying moments of my day) begins…and goes on for 2 1/2 hours sometimes. I cry and ask God to help me. I feel like I’m losing my mind. Then I have to go to bed because I know I’ll need the energy for the next day…because she’ll be waking me up all night long too. When she puts her little arms around me and tells me how much she loves me I’m dying inside because I think about what a horrible person I am for hating this. How can I hate it when she’s so beautiful and sweet? I feel like going to work is my only break and I can’t imagine if I was a stay-at-home mom (which I was for her first year and a half so I know what that’s like, too). I’m so sorry for all the tears you shed and your feelings of helplessness. I know what it’s like. Hang in there!
***
I have battled with feeling like I do not want my children from the moment my first daughter was born. Every single day is a massive struggle for me. I find myself unable to cope with my girls and I manage by booking them into expensive child care settings / and offloading them to family whenever possible. The very minute I get them back I want them gone again and I am contemplating putting myself into a clinic of some sort whilst I get my head right. I want the kids to be taken into Foster Care until I feel like I can actually enjoy them and not dread having to look after them. I have absolutely no maternal instincts what so ever and even when the kids are hurt I find myself going through the motions without actually caring about them much. I have to remind myself to kiss them good night because this is not natural to me. I find interaction with them virtually impossible and I will take them out all of the time to avoid it. That way they can amuse themselves. I am seeing a therapist about this because I also have 2 step children and I have come to absolutely hate my step son and my marriage is dangling on by a thread. I have been told that I have suffered post natal depression that was undiagnosed. My oldest daughter also had autism and fed into my pre existing issues. Have been feeling really angry and suicidal as I don’t want to loose my husband but my behaviour is pushing him away. Feel like I am beyond help.
***
Wow I’m glad I found this site. Sometimes, well always, I want to run from being a mother. I’d rather be at work than home with my daughter who is 9. I’m glad I didn’t have more children.

I have a loving husband, I have an extended family support system who live near by, I have a good job.

I regret most days that I became pregnant. I thought it was what I wanted. I’ve had and been through postpartum depression including hospitalization.

She is different to other kids, but they can’t find anything wrong. We’ve had assessment after assessment. She doesn’t do too well at school but at the same time is fairly bright. I have trouble understanding her, she is very strong willed, as I am too.

Some people ask why I have only one child, and I answer that’s all that was right for me. I don’t have any more love for another child, but the truth is I don’t have much love to give for this child.

I’m glad my daughter has others in her life that can provide her with the love that I can’t – Her dad, both her grandmothers, and aunts.

I’ve never told her or anyone else my true feelings. My father told me he wish he didn’t have me on more than one occasion which crushed me. Despite my feelings I never want her to know that I feel anything like that.

Thanks for listening. I’m glad to have this secret off my chest.
***
Wow, I’m not alone! I used to love being a mom. I have 4 girls and couldn’t have asked for a better life. However, 4 years ago, my 4 year old (2nd child) was diagnosed with terminal cancer and wasn’t expected to make it another 7 months. She proved everyone wrong and knocked the socks off the docs. She still is fighting and is going to attempt 1/2 days at school this week. However, this battle has been so hard on all of us. I feel so guilty to complain, but I regret bringing these children into this world to have to witness such pain and an unstable mom. So many people will tell me I am so strong, but the truth is I have only become numb. I refuse to allow myself to get close to anyone including my husband and children. I just couldn’t handle the pain of loss any longer and now I feel I have failed them of there needs. I am so angry I was chosen for this job and hate it everyday. I’m tired and deliberately sleep so I may dream of a different life. I want to run away, but know I would never forgive myself. Actually, I struggle with forgiving myself now for wishing I never had children. Being a mom, stuck behind closed doors, and shut off from the world is no picnic for anyone, whether you care for a child, the ill, or elderly. Eventually, it catches up with us all. Guess, we’ll continue to pray for better days, just wonder if I’ll ever see it here on earth.
***
I love my kids – I ache for them every time I snap at them, every time I neglect their needs, turn them away because I know they deserve so much more. But I am done. I cannot make myself volunteer for one more bake sale, eat lunch at the school, go to Mcdonalds or play outside when I hate being outdoors. I’m constantly being pulled in several different directions, especially with children of such varying ages, and after almost 17 years of being called “momma” I am desperate to rediscover who I used to be before being buried under the tons and tons of mommy debris. I have tons of regrets, but I already know that my biggest one at the end of my life will be not loving what I do. I told my husband it was like living in a Communist country – being forced to work at a job you hate for your entire life. There are no easy escapes – how can one abandon their children and not feel the weight of guilt everyday? How can one continue the mind numbing endless chores of motherhood and not want to run away? All I can do is accept this is the life I have – but accepting isn’t the same as enjoying and I can honestly say everyday I hate what I do without a ton of guilt (there is still some residual guilt). Because I, like most of the mothers here, am still doing it. Still wiping butts, still cleaning up spills, still reading, helping with homework. And I resent no one, I just ache for something more. I do know there are many women who would love the life that has been handed to me – but that doesn’t make me feel better because there are many women’s lives that I would love to have. At this point of my life, I’m ok with the fact that my kids are uninjured, sane, and loved. My house is a mess, chicken nuggets are a food group, and if my husband wants a perfect wife/mother, he more than welcome to go find one.
***
I constantly feel that if only someone had told me the truth, I would have spared myself and my husband this miserable life, and could have spared two beautiful children this disgusting world.
***
I think that, especially at a social event, parents and everyone else is going to be on their best behavior. I KNOW that some other moms I have personally talked to, shared struggles with, put on a happy mom face in public.

Also, I really do not want my kids to get hurt or sick at such a large event. I keep a watchful eye on what they are doing. And, I think kids are an easy, cop-out thing to talk about, without getting too personal…if that makes sense.

Out in “public”, people can act really different. No one wants to embarass themsleves.
***
I don’t know why, but it’s gotten worse these last few months…to the point where my misery is so encompassing it’s all I can think about. Sometimes the sadness weighs so heavily on me it’s physically challenging to do simple day to day things. It’s all I can do to get through my work day (I have a full time job) followed by picking the kids up at the sitters, feeding them dinner, giving them baths (my least favorite time of the day!! Ugh, bathtime = torture), going through the bedtime rituals and then, enjoying an hour to myself during which I eat junk food and watch crap TV before passing out on the couch and having to force myself to go upstairs to bed. Such quality me time.

I’ve always had suicidal thoughts, but it seems like more and more lately my suicidal fantasies take up so much of my time. One night last month I went home and put the kids to bed and thought, “tonight is the night.” And obviously I didn’t do it…but I was so consumed by my own depression that I couldn’t see going on another day. It’s the only thing I can think of doing that will put an end to my pain.
***
I empathize with every mother here who believed what the media portrayed and others told them about how amazing it was to be a mom. I too fell for it. I am now hating life and everything that comes with being a mom. I understand I became a mother for all the wrong reasons and I OWN my decision and the consequences. I will say that I have written off all those so called “friends” who made me feel like I was missing out on the best experience in life and how much I would regret not having kids. These were not my friends, these were miserable women who wanted miserable company. Not to say that every women is miserable, but I KNOW some of these so called “friends” defiantly lied. I feel these are the same women who sit on this site and say how the Childfree women on here are just trying to rub it in the rest of our faces and that they have other social issues/deformities and to get off the forum (just an FYI if you are socially incompetent you are socially incompetent regardless of your kid status). The women who say this crap are just jealous of the childfree’s lifestyle (I’m sure I’ll get some defensive mothers writing back to counteract that statement), but I understand you ladies aren’t here for that reason, you have people around you telling you how great it is and are on the fence about having a child and are just trying to see all sides of the spectrum. I understand and am here to tell you it isn’t as great as some of your friends and family are telling you. Of course it is up to you, but know that it is 100 times harder then what society makes it out to be.
***
For some biological reason I really really wanted a baby. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I was the best parent before I had a child. My 6 year old sucks the life blood out of me. When I complain about her people look at me like I’m nuts – like we are all supposed to paste a smile on and pretend motherhood is the best thing on earth. I had a perfect baby, a nightmare toddler, and it’s only getting worse.
***
I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired of my sad life at home. It’s been 15 years of the same mess and I just can’t take it any more. Somehow over the years, I have managed to cope and change my attitude. But, why should I? As a mom, I’m cooking, cleaning, working, nursing, helping with homework, going to doctor’s visits and school visits and my husband seems to do nothing but just pay the bills. I have three kids, all stair step in age, 11, 12 and 14. The attitudes are killing me and my husband not setting ground rules or telling the kids the opposite of what I tell them to do is driving me nuts. The house is a total mess unless I clean it up and I am not doing it anymore. I hate coming home and I sometimes hate being around them. Sometimes, I just wish I could just be alone with none of this to contend with. It’s a constant battle every day with homework, chores and overall respect. I need some peace of mind.
***

Do keep in mind that these women made the wrong choice, insofar as they did not choose to abort, and they are paying the consequences of their moral failure. I am not on their side. Their children can also be devastated by being told that they were unwanted, and that is a burden imposed on them by these parents. I post these stories not out of sympathy, but so that the fact that many women do hate being mothers but are too afraid to “come out” can come to the forefront of this discussion and take its place as valuable evidence. Procreation is a trap used by the patriarchy to keep women in line.

Of course the pro-choice contingent is going to try to refute these stories by saying that they are not typical or that having children is still “worth it.” To which I would simply reply, how do you know? Even if you had children and never regretted it, your experience may not be typical. Because this is a taboo topic, we just can’t know except through personal testimonies such as these.

Furthermore, here are some female postpartum bodies. Click on the links if you wish to see them.

Anber
Amy
Tabitha
Triplet mom

Unless you go to The Shape of a Mother, you may never have seen the (sometimes horrific) consequences of pregnancy on a woman. You sure don’t see those advertised anywhere. They need to be seen by any woman who thinks of becoming pregnant. If the woman doesn’t find anything wrong with it, then that’s fine, but those who don’t want their bodies to become deformed in like manner will know the truth. This is much more important for “informed consent” than pictures of a dang fetus.

34 thoughts on “Secret Confessions: How great is it to have a child?

  1. […] Pingback: Secret Confessions: How great is it to have a child? | The Prime Directive […]

  2. Gomi January 26, 2012 at 08:57

    Pro-choice (because I oppose any external imposition of abortion, not because I believe everyone should have kids), and 12 (because the number question is leading and biased, so any random number will do).

    Anyway, on to the actual topic, I don’t know where you’ve been, but I hear regret stories all the time. They’re not common media topics, but then, the regrets of women getting abortions aren’t really common media topics either. They’re a popular talking point among the anti-abortion crowd, sure, but the regrets of parenthood are a pretty common talking point among many of the pro-choice/pro-abortion crowd too. It’s the underlying principle in every story about women getting abortions because they can’t support a child, aren’t ready for a child or generally don’t want a child.

    Also, as a parent, I’ve had plenty of regrets about having a kid. I’ve also had plenty of times, watching him learn, when I’ve felt joy at having a kid. Does one outweigh the other? That’s a subjective opinion for each person. You’re right that media portrayal is almost always biased, but for some people, the good really does outweigh the bad.

    Maybe we should just make adoption and other options easier. If you truly regret having a kid, then give the kid up. Raising a kid you don’t want does the child no favors, any more than it benefits you. It’s better all around if you just give the kid away.

    But how is a person to know that before hand? Like I said, it’s subjective. There are people who love having kids and people who hate it, much like there are people who love living and those who find it too filled with pain. Any blanket action or policy will penalize one or the other.

    Though I agree with you that “informed consent” really should include the downsides of having children. More people need to realize the tradeoffs and cons, for them and for their children. But ultimately, it’s the individual who needs to decide for themselves, without someone, with their own agenda, telling them what to do. Too often, right now, the “babies are wonderful” lobby holds too much sway in our culture, influencing potential parents.

    • Francois Tremblay January 26, 2012 at 14:24

      “Anyway, on to the actual topic, I don’t know where you’ve been, but I hear regret stories all the time.”
      Again Gomi, thank you for proving that you come from a different universe.

      “Also, as a parent, I’ve had plenty of regrets about having a kid”
      Oh boo hoo, you decided to play God and bring a new life into the world, and now you have regrets about it! Yea, too bad your child can’t do anything about it, asshole. At least don’t tell them about your regrets and fuck their lives up even further.

      • Gomi January 26, 2012 at 14:45

        It’s not that I come from a different universe, Francois. It’s just that your narrow view of our common universe isn’t the only possible view. Like it’s been pointed out to you before, by others than I, you have a tendency to reject things that don’t fit your confirmation bias.

        I have regrets about all kinds of things, Francois, don’t you? I loved the university I attended, but if I’d picked another, there were research opportunities that I wouldn’t have missed. I regret loves lost, but I prefer my wife to anyone else.

        And I’ll tell my kid that too. Like I said, there are times I’ve regretted having a kid, but there are also plenty of times I’ve enjoyed it a lot more. I’m sure there will be times he’ll regret having me as a parent too.

        That’s life. Both ups and downs. Things aren’t always rainbows and unicorns, but they’re not all bad either. How we judge the balance is how we view life and living it.

        • Francois Tremblay January 26, 2012 at 14:50

          “It’s not that I come from a different universe, Francois.”
          No, you come from a different universe.

          “I have regrets about all kinds of things, Francois, don’t you?”
          Yes… but none of my regrets involve bringing harm to innocent person, at least not in any substantial way. Neither do any of the ones you listed.

          “And I’ll tell my kid that too.”
          Wonderful. Not only did you bring people into this world without their consent, and subject them to a multitude of harms, but you want them to live with the knowledge that you regretted their existence, as well. Wonderful. You sure are one fucking asshole, Gomi. I hate you. I fucking hate you. I really wish you’d stop reading my blog.

          • Gomi January 26, 2012 at 15:03

            Yea, well, we can’t always get what we want.

            I’m sorry you hate me, Francois, truly. It’s a lousy way to go through life, with such hate.

            • Francois Tremblay January 26, 2012 at 16:27

              Well, you *are* a despicable human being, so I don’t feel too bad about it.

    • Jacqueline S. Homan June 23, 2012 at 01:32

      “Maybe we should just make adoption and other options easier. If you truly regret having a kid, then give the kid up”

      NEWSFLASH, Earth to Gomi: Adoption is the solution to women and men who don’t want to parent their children, it is NOT the solution for women that don’t want to go through pregnancy and childbirth in the first place. Don’t conflate the two — they are separate issues.

      • Gomi June 23, 2012 at 05:31

        Newsflash, Earth to Jacqueline: The subject was parents who regret having a child *after* birth. So, unless you’re suggesting retroactive abortions, things like adoption are the solution.

        Check your reading comprehension.

        • Jacqueline S. Homan June 23, 2012 at 11:03

          Fuck you, check YOURS. I might be dyslexic but I know bullshit stew served up by professional bullshit chefs when I fucking see it, you condescending elitist asshole! You made the EXACT same argument in your worthless comment as the pro forced birthers make when depriving women of the right to access contraception and abortion. And I called you on it. So up yours.

          • Francois Tremblay June 23, 2012 at 11:53

            Yea, it’s Gomi. I’ve tried to explain things to him before but… he has a lot of logic gaps.

          • Gomi June 23, 2012 at 15:00

            Okay, so you’re dyslexic and I’m on the spectrum. So we’re all neuro-atypical here. So what? Dyslexia is characterized by issues with textual understanding, which isn’t the problem here. You’re apparently read all the words perfectly fine, but *assumed* a meaning behind it that I *never* said, implicitly or explicitly.

            Also, if you’re going to complain about condescension, you might not want to start with a condescending “NEWSFLASH, Earth to Gomi.”

            Lastly, the argument that adoption is a solution for those who regret having a child after birth is one *you* repeated in your response to me. Apparently you’re a “pro forced birther” too.

            You “called me” on your own assumptions and projections. So, up yours.

            • Jacqueline S. Homan June 23, 2012 at 15:14

              Then WHY did you use the exact same argument, verbatim, that the anti-woman pro-forced birthers use, Gomi?

              • Gomi June 23, 2012 at 16:05

                I didn’t use the exact same argument. They argue for adoption as an alternative for abortion. I argued for adoption as an option *once the kid was born*. That’s not the same argument.

                It’s only the same argument if you assume huge chunks of argument that are contrary to everything else I was saying.

                • Jacqueline S. Homan June 24, 2012 at 11:34

                  Gomi, you did not specifically stipulate that in those exact words. Not to be an asshole over semantics, but wording IS important here.

                • Gomi June 24, 2012 at 12:31

                  The entire context of the discussion was parents who felt regret *after* their kids were born. It was in that context that I brought up adoption.

                  You’re right, I should have assumed that someone would jump in, ignore everything that was being said and condescendingly accuse me of making an equivalence I never did.

            • Jacqueline S. Homan June 23, 2012 at 15:15

              And no I am not a pro-forced birther. I am pro-abortion. Without apology.

              • Gomi June 23, 2012 at 16:09

                Yea, I get that. It was sarcasm to make a point that, even as you repeated my argument, it doesn’t make you pro-forced birther.

                I’m not pro-abortion only in so much as I’m not “pro medical procedure,” because I don’t think the procedure itself is something to be “pro” or “anti” about. It’s like being “pro appendectomy,” in my opinion. If you need your appendix out, then you get an appendectomy. If you need to terminate a pregnancy, you get an abortion. Blocking abortions is comparable to blocking appendectomies. In other words, self-righteously moralistic and stupid.

                But hey, you know what I am better than I, eh?

                • Gomi June 23, 2012 at 16:52

                  Just to clarify, I prefer preventing pregnancy through other, less-intrusive options, with abortion as a backstop, in case of failure. And, I don’t believe the state should enforce abortions, so, while I think reproduction should be reduced drastically, I classify myself as pro-choice, because it’s the choice of the individual, not the state.

                • Francois Tremblay June 23, 2012 at 22:32

                  Are you seriously comparing terminating a human life with terminating an appendix? Fucking Gomi.

                • Gomi June 24, 2012 at 09:40

                  Put it that way, and you’re “pro-terminating a human life.” And you complain when I express things without sufficiently mushy sentiment?

                • Francois Tremblay June 24, 2012 at 12:16

                  I am complaining because you are trying to make an analogy between a human life and an appendix. I don’t know what mushy has to do with it in your addled brain.

                • Gomi June 24, 2012 at 12:42

                  I made an analogy between two necessary medical procedures. The fact that one terminates a human life doesn’t change that basic comparison. If you think the termination of human life in an abortion requires more emotional sentimentality than that, that’s your choice.

                • Francois Tremblay June 24, 2012 at 12:43

                  When did I say anything about sentimentality? Get over yourself, Gomi.

        • Jacqueline S. Homan June 23, 2012 at 11:04

          *correction: make that “ABLEIST elitist asshole.”

  3. estnihil January 26, 2012 at 17:08

    (Pro-abortion)
    I don’t know what to feel when I read these accounts. On one hand I think that if you’re going to forcefully bring someone into this world, thus harming them, the least you can do is love them – OR AT LEAST MAKE SURE YOU CAN LOVE A CHILD BEFORE YOU HAVE ONE. But on the other hand, I sympathise with the fact that these women have been indoctrinated by society in believing that having children is the ultimate expression of love, something everyone does, something you won’t regret yadda yadda.

    In any case Franc since email seems a little too formal and I have no other way of contacting you, I found a pretty great little summary song of Buddhism on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=xmQqPIFLI_Q#!

    • Francois Tremblay January 26, 2012 at 17:23

      “I don’t know what to feel when I read these accounts. On one hand I think that if you’re going to forcefully bring someone into this world, thus harming them, the least you can do is love them – OR AT LEAST MAKE SURE YOU CAN LOVE A CHILD BEFORE YOU HAVE ONE. But on the other hand, I sympathise with the fact that these women have been indoctrinated by society in believing that having children is the ultimate expression of love, something everyone does, something you won’t regret yadda yadda.”

      Yea… I know it’s not a black or white situation, like any situation where people operate within a corrupt system. I admit that. And yes, they were brainwashed. That being said, I can’t help but have more sympathy for the victim than for the perpetrator…! A natural reaction, wouldn’t you say?

  4. […] Such an attack would only convince more women to have children, some of whom would go through a living hell because of it, not to mention the harm that the children will incur during their […]

  5. […] that you think you’re gonna have a heart attack every time the baby open eir eyes. So what? I can cite counter-examples. Anecdotes don’t prove shit, and if you had any interest in the truth at all you’d at […]

  6. jackjennings000@outlook.com January 20, 2014 at 22:33

    These Web sites and blogs where regretful Mothers vent their frustrations and opinions are very interesting. I have to say, as an unmarried child-free woman in my mid-thirties, I appreciate this modern venue to gather data from. 20 years ago I can’t imagine a woman had many places to research other women’s experiences or read anonymous statements about the trials of motherhood.

    The times have changed for better or for worse…and in many ways the same challenges people face are still present. Deciding to, or not to, procreate will always be a human decision that carries a lot of weight.

    I do think most people visiting these Web sites (myself included) really do so because they are reaching a peak time in their lives and are not sure they want children. I am currently very happy and have a fulfilling life, and my instincts tell me not to reproduce.

    Yet…messages form society…and even some friends… tell me “Get married! Have children! Populate America! Be selfless and learn what love TRULY is by having a child and sacrificing things to build a marriage! You can have it ALL a career a good husband freedom vacations to paradise a fit body great health…the only thing missing is A HUSBAND and a CHILD!”

    It’s true that all the women I know (my sister included) who have opened-up about motherhood to me have said they wish they had not had children. But they would not ever say this to most people because they are afraid it will cause damage to their reputations or their children’s. They are right-it would. Look what happened to that women in England that said she regretted having her kids…they socially crucified her.

    I know women cannot have it ALL…no one can, men can’t either. At least if ALL means every desire or whim you seek. Women married with kids can’t have freedom to go to the bar when they want, to go to the gym all the time, take a few night classes, buy new clothes whenever they feel like it, to put 110 percent focus on their career.

    And as a single woman who probably won’t have kids…I can have all of the above but will not have the joys and challenges of motherhood, and perhaps not the selfless sacrifices and blooming pleasures of marriage. And I am A-OK with that.

    For the women posting on this site, thanks for your honesty and giving me another perspective as I search for my own path in life. It is always a good outcome for me when I follow my instincts, and my instincts tell me if I had children I would end up a fellow blogger on this site warning others in the future.

    I also do not think ill of any of you for your regrets, we all have our forks in the road and no one is perfect. It’s the people (some mothers included) who think they are perfect that make harsh judgments about others. They think they have a right to question your motives and choices like they are qualified judges or moral compasses…many of these people have their own regrets and perhaps they have not come to terms with their own choices yet. It’s always okay to say “I made the wrong decision”…even if it’s a HUGE decision. Mothers have rights too!

    Again, thanks for venting honestly…it does make a difference to women seeking real feedback from other women regarding a sensitive and sometimes taboo topic.

    Peace

    Brenda J.

    • Francois Tremblay January 20, 2014 at 22:39

      I doubt any of them will ever come on this blog, but from your mouth to their ears.

  7. […] and that the bond between a mother and her child is the greatest bond that can exist. We have seen the disastrous results of this dogma; not only does it ruins women’s lives, but it also isolates them emotionally, so that they […]

  8. Athena June 8, 2014 at 20:54

    BABIES ARE PARASITES!!!

    PERFORM A POST-NATAL ABORTION AND STRANGLE IT IN IT’S CRIB!!!

    ESPECIALLY BOY BABIES BECAUSE ALL THEY ARE ARE POTENTIAL RAPISTS!!!

    I will NOT have my body and my womb polluted by the seed of a male oppressor.
    My mother says she’s getting older and she wants grandchildren – well she can adopt one, I’m not here to please or sacrifice MY life for anyone else.

    IT’S MY LIFE, MY BODY – DO NOT TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!!!

    • Francois Tremblay June 9, 2014 at 00:11

      Are you being sarcastic? If you are, it’s not funny.

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