Men: are you only prized as baby-makers?

A man wonders and asks the question: what about all those women who enter in relationships just to have children?

I have seen it myself and heard about it in numerous confessions from men who are “happily married with children” too many times over for it to be a coincidence. This is a behavior very unique to having children. I never seen it in the few child free relationships that I have encountered or heard about. I don’t think a woman can take a man for granted as much when the legal and financial ties that children create do not exist. Neither party, man or woman, can bind the other with children in a childfree relationship. I think that leads to a healthier relationship because both participants have to actually like the other person and demonstrate it on a regular basis since the person doesn’t have to “stay together for the kids” or “the child support will kill me”. Laziness has no place in an intimate relationship and not having children helps reduce the chances of either party becoming lazy or taking the other for granted.

I think it is a topic that a lot of child-free people and men in general never discuss and to me is a huge elephant in the room…. Does a woman really love you if she would leave you because you won’t have kids?

2 thoughts on “Men: are you only prized as baby-makers?

  1. Gomi February 17, 2012 at 22:41

    “Does a woman really love you if she would leave you because you won’t have kids?”

    No, any more than she doesn’t really love you if she would leave you because you won’t want to move to Paris with her, or something. That’s nothing unique to men as “baby makers,” and simply the result of incompatibility of desires in the relationship, I think.

    And may be it’s travelling in different circles, but among my circle it’s actually only a minority of couples who have kids (narrowing the field to monogamous heterosexual couples). And those who do have children, generally had them after three or five years of marriage. An afterthought, not the purpose of the relationship, or a specific binding of the relationship. I think it’s more a matter of socioeconomic and educational demographic, rather than an assumed norm implied by this quote.

  2. alleee February 18, 2012 at 16:44

    When I met Franc, my mother said to me, “I always hoped you would get married and have children.”

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