The wonders of mental retardation, at “Science Essentials”…

For your viewing pleasure, I have been following this web site called “Science Essentials” (“practical resources for teaching creation-based science,” says the hilarious header) for months now. The number of ridiculous things written by author Rhonda Forlow (I will not dignify her with a honorific, because anyone who writes “creation-based science” with a straight face should not be given diplomas, seriously) is so high that there’s a good chance you’ll encounter one in every other entry. Here are the best I’ve found during this period:

I had to post this one in its entirety, because it is retarded from beginning to end.

Classroom Starters:
Take your class outside. What are 10 evidences of God’s power as displayed through nature?

For the older student: How are these 10 evidences broken down into the 4 main categories of science—physical, biological, chemical, and astronomical?

Dinner Table Starters:
If you had to convince your best friend that God is real, what examples could you use from nature?

For the older student: Suppose your family survived an earthquake. How could you use the devastation caused by the earthquake to convince your family that God is powerful, loving, and real?

How to do science, the Creationist version.

A. Using the chart “A General Correlation of Characteristic Earth Layers with Biblical History” from the article, place dates and Bible verses next to each time period listed on the chart.
B. Where would dinosaur-containing rock layers fall in the chart?
C. Divide the groups of 4 students into pairs. Each pair should develop a 60-second argument as to why the earth is either: a) 6,000 years old, or b) 4 billion years old. The argument should be succinct, yet convincing.

Science comes from the Bible! Serious!

1) Have students download and read the article “21 Years Until Alien Contact?” by Frank Sherwin. Then read Psalm 115:16 and Acts 17:24-29. Based on these Scriptures and the above article, have students discuss the answer to the question “What is life?” from the biblical and evolutionary worldviews. Include discussion of cellular life, biblical life, and metaphysical (theoretical or philosophical) life.

2) Have students examine the similarities between cloning and stem cell research. Using Scripture references, discuss whether cloning people is biblically acceptable.

3) Divide the class into 2 teams: “evolutionists” and “creationists.” Have one team research and present an evolutionist’s arguments for the possibility of life on other planets. Then have the opposing team challenge them using biblical arguments and scientific data opposing the idea of life on other planets. Each team will need to prepare by anticipating the research and arguments their opponents will use.

4) Divide students into pairs. Give each pair a copy of the List of Standard Amino Acids. Have students use a blue map pencil to circle a carboxyl group, a red map pencil to circle an amine group, and a green map pencil to circle a central carbon with hydrogen. After they’re finished, have each pair discuss the following:

f) How can you defend the concept that God created the elements in the earth and used them to create life?

Quite unlike the Bible, which is totally realistic, evolution is so fantastic!

5) Play a clip from the movie The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe that depicts some of the characters going through the wardrobe into the mythical world of Narnia. If you do not have access to the movie or are not allowed to show the movie in your classroom, read a small portion of the C. S. Lewis book to your class to begin your discussion. In the discussion, guide your students to discuss and understand the differences between a myth or fairy tale and truth. For example, in the movie, the characters escape from the reality of their life in England into the magical life of Narnia through a wardrobe. Obviously, this is fictional, since in real life that doesn’t happen. Nor do frogs or beasts magically turn into princes, as some fairy tales portray. However, evolutionists would have you believe it is possible for one creature to transform into an entirely different creature, given enough time. “If you believe a frog turns into a prince instantly, that’s a fairy tale. If you believe a frog turned into a prince in 300 million years, that’s evolution.” (Canadian Broadcasting Company, Puzzle of the Ancient Wing, Gary Parker.) Discuss the differences between the way the Bible says life originated versus the way evolution says it began.

You are not a doctor, and you don’t know shit about science, retard.

What K-12 science resources would you recommend that promote science from a literal, 6-day creationist perspective?

This is probably the question I am asked most often at conventions or through correspondence. My short answer is, “Very few!” But, knowing the frustration that answer entices, I would say this:

Christian school teachers and parents seeking science materials based upon a literal, 6-day creationist perspective are hard-pressed to find full-blown, in-depth curricula. Obviously, there are a few longstanding publishers such as Bob Jones and Abeka, to name a few, that do provide good curricula in this thread. However, there are many types of resources besides curricula that you can use to teach from a creationist perspective—resources such as ICR’s teacher supplemental materials called Science Education Essentials, books for young children such as Where Did the World Come From? by Karyn Lukasek, CDs or DVDs featuring Jonathan Park or Dr. Jobe Martin, and science activity lessons such as the Big Book of God’s Amazing Creation by Gospel Light Publishing.

Sadly, God doesn’t cause one to have even cursory knowledge of mammalian behavior.

Unlike affection, only humans are capable of receiving, giving, refusing, and rejecting love.

Animals (including chimps) are not able to provide any assistance to other creatures they are not related to, and even seem to be unable to recognize the needs of other animals. Although some animals (especially mammals like dogs, cats, and horses) can and do appreciate affection, only humans are capable of receiving, giving, refusing, and rejecting love.

Humans are driven by an entirely different kind of love. Click here for more information on God Caused Love.

Rhonda Forlow loves to annoy people of other religions with her “science” bullshit. Then she teaches children how to do the same.

My husband and I were in the heart of mission work last week in British Columbia. We met with missionaries and pastors, their wives and children, and heard countless stories of God’s never-ending love and provision. We visited a Buddhist temple, talked with a parishioner at a Sikh temple, spoke about the God of creation with a Chinese woman, and stared into the face of darkness more times than not. We arrived home exhausted and broken by these individuals’ misguided quest for knowledge and truth in an extremely tolerant society, yet refreshed and humbled by the work of God’s people who live among them.

Classroom Starters:
How would you tell the story of creation to a non-saved friend?

For the older student: Pretend you are presenting the salvation message to a group of Buddhists. How could you use Buddhist terminology to help them understand the message of Christianity?

[Yea, good luck with that, imbecile. Please do tell us how the Four Noble Truths fit in with the whole Christianity thing. Maybe after that you can tell us why you keep compulsively breaking the fourth precept, the one about refraining from wrong speech)

Dinner Table Starters:
Do you have friends from other religions? Choose 1 religious background other than Christianity and discuss with your parent(s) how you would explain who Jesus is to them.

She thinks we live in the Flintstones. Wow. Feel the “science”!

We are uncertain if dinosaurs still live today. If any do, it would be in very remote and secretive locations. The latest sighting claims have come from the Likouala swamp in Congo, and from a remote island in Indonesia.

Here is what we do know from past history: Records of dragon slayings, or dinosaur encounters, in mainland Europe ended in the Middle Ages. Similar records in Britain ended in about the 1700s. North and Central American Indian legends of monster encounters also trace back to hundreds of years ago, although they kept no written records so it is more difficult to discern their actual accounts. Also, ancient authors wrote, over a thousand years ago or so, of dragon encounters in the Middle East. Therefore, dinosaurs went extinct long ago in most areas around the world.

For more reading on the extinction of dinosaurs, check out the article Case Closed on Dinosaur Extinction. Or Is It? by ICR scientist Brian Thomas.

Now she’s a fucking astrophysicist. SCIENCE!!! I also believe God must have placed major cities near rivers, because there’s no way it could have happened by accident. Is she really that fucking stupid?

Some have mistakenly thought the seasons result from variations in the earth’s distance to the sun. However, the seasons are the result of the tilt of the earth’s axis. The earth was supernaturally placed at just the right location in space relative to the sun and planets, with just the exact tilt to its orbital plane necessary for us to experience the seasons. Any difference in the earth’s position in our solar system and the surface temperature would be too extreme for life. Also, the variations in the seasons’ weather partly depend on factors such as the moon’s gravitational attraction affecting oceans or other large bodies of water, currents, oceanic cycles, and prevailing winds. The moon has the exact mass and location necessary to give us the tides that provide ocean currents and thus weather patterns, while the tilt of the earth gives us the seasons.

Why does the location of the earth matter? Because the earth is just the proper distance from the sun to maintain the right surface temperature suitable for life and important meteorological processes. To the evolutionist, the exact placement of the earth in orbit is an unexplainable accident, but to the creationist, it is a testimony of God’s ultimate planning of and authority over all things in the heavens and the earth.

Humans rule! Also, we can add anthropology to the list of actual sciences Rhonda knows absolutely nothing about.

All cultures have acknowledged the superiority of man over all other animate life, life forms, and inanimate objects in nature, as reflected in the dominion mandate assigned to mankind by God.

Rhonda asks her blog audience, “Does science contradict our belief and faith in the Bible?”. Hilarity ensues.

It requires faith because God says it does! True science is nothing more than man’s attempt to understand and show who God is. A desire to magnify the God of all creation while trying to learn from it what we can to use the mind and abilities the Lord has given us to do more for Him. False science is nothng more than what a man who rejects God wants to use in an attempt to discredit who God is while lifting up himself. Both are believed by faith!

I’m not sure it takes faith to believe that God exists. I believe that minds, thoughts, ideas, concepts etc. exist. Why shouldn’t I believe that God, souls, spirits, angels etc. exists? Faith comes in where this immaterial existence is played out in our everyday material reality. Can God be trusted, Will He deliver on His promises, etc. I believe through faith that He will.

Acquiring Faith in God is a bit like a child learning to ride a bicycle. He has seen others do it, but by just sitting on the bike he falls over. His father assures him he can do it, and stands near to help him learn. It doesn’t work until he starts to push the pedals, and though he may fall down in the first few tries, he starts to develop a sense of balance, and in a short time he is riding the bike. With practice he becomes very comfortable and assured and has mastered a great new experience.

“Science Essentials”: a blog by a woman who hates science, for people who hate science, pretending to teach science to little children. Whee!

3 thoughts on “The wonders of mental retardation, at “Science Essentials”…

  1. myrthryn April 6, 2012 at 07:59

    What a treasure trove you have found! Rich and creamy Parkay here! You have much patience wading through all that! ;-)

    • Francois Tremblay April 6, 2012 at 11:08

      I can’t disagree on that. I actually had to cut a lot of stuff because it wasn’t as funny as the ones I posted. It’s really a rich mine of stupidity.

  2. […] In the new year the rate of posting increased, from three days a week to five. Around this time I also lost interest in the site: it was just more of the same every week, and there was no need to inflict it on you on any regular basis. Of course, there were a few occasions where Forlow came up with some funny posts, and I wasn’t the only one amused. […]

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