Abortion is only one part of the problem: so is PIV.

UPDATE: Due to this entry being linked on some MRA site, I’m closing down the comments.

***

It’s now time for me to point out that abortion is really just one facet of a much bigger problem, and that concentrating on abortion is ultimately heading in the wrong direction. Abortion, when it is involved, happens way after the fact, the harm having been done a long time ago.

Of course, it is to the advantage of the patriarchy to frame the debate in terms of abortion, since placing the entire focus on abortion puts the burden squarely on women. Forcing the victims to deal with the damage imposed on them is a common reframing tactics for people in power. We observe it in the case of suicide (you were born without your consent and want out… well, we’ll persecute you if you try to leave), drug abuse (you’ve been abused in childhood… well, we’ll persecute you for trying to palliate the pain) and poverty (you were born in a poor family… well, good luck changing that, because we’re gonna discriminate against you), to name only these examples, but I don’t think there’s any area where it’s not used to some extent. It’s merely an extension of blaming the victim.

We know what and who is really responsible for unwanted pregnancies. PIV (penis-in-vagina) is what starts the process, and men are responsible, not women. The anti-abortion Christian anti-feminists aren’t going to tell you that, and the pro-choice liberal fun-fems aren’t going to tell you that, because their worldview implicitly hinges on the female submission to, and enthusiastic acceptance of, PIV. So they have no interest whatsoever in putting any focus on the fact that PIV is the root cause and that abortion is a distant consequence of PIV.

The indoctrination we receive about PIV is pretty astonishing. We are all taught that PIV, and only PIV, is worthy of being called “sex.” Males are indoctrinated to believe that they are entitled to PIV from women. Females (yes, even fun-fems) are indoctrinated to believe that they only have worth in society if they are PIV-worthy and “put out.”

The rationalizations that people raise in support of PIV are endless, pathetic ego-based reactions of the same kind you get when you talk about antinatalism. Let’s talk about facts. Only 15-35% of women (more likely on the lower end) can have orgasms from PIV. PIV is dangerous, can transmit diseases, brings about unwanted pregnancies, and can lead to death.

A clear half of pregnancies are unwanted, and half of those pregnancies result in abortion. This is an incredible statistic. Guess why these pregnancies occur? Men’s (and a few women’s) craving for PIV. A program against wife-beating in a Ghanian district had stunning results: when wife-beating was actively discouraged, the birth rate dropped by more than one child per family. Obviously some percentage of unwanted pregnancies are due to spousal abuse. In the US, 25% of women will be physically abused in their lifetime (Massey, J. Domestic Violence in Neurologic Practice. Archives in Neurology), so this is a massive issue everywhere, not just in places where uxorial rape is legal.

I can’t confront husbands and their bizarre belief that endangering their wife’s psychological health, physical health or even their life is a loving thing to do. How fucked up can you be to believe such appalling nonsense? How much do you have to despise someone to make them go through the trauma of pregnancy and childbirth?

If any fun-fem reads this entry (as my readers are mostly radicals, this is rather unlikely, but always possible), he or she will no doubt accuse me of being “sex-negative,” based on the bizarre belief that PIV, and only PIV, is sex. This is a common tactic used against people who argue against PIV. It is also completely, absolutely insane. But when you point out to these people that there obviously are other kinds of sex than PIV, they will tell you that those other kinds of sex are “not really sex.”

This leads to 1984-level redefinition of terms: anal sex is not really sex, oral sex is not really sex, mutual masturbation is not really sex, other uses of genitals that lead to orgasm are not really sex, and so on. It’s only “really sex” if it can lead to procreation and inflict trauma on a woman, just like how marriage is only “really marriage” if it can lead to procreation.

The belief in PIV as a man’s right is responsible for keeping women in their place socially and economically, beat down women physically and psychologically, and shackle them to procreation as their life’s highest duty. This is why abortion is such a convenient divisive topic for the prevalent PIV-positive ideologies: it maintains domination over women by making the actions of men (PIV) into the responsibility of the women (having an abortion or childbirth). But abortion is just one part of the debate.

I realize it may sounds hypocrite of me to say that abortion is just one part of the debate when I’ve spent four months arguing about abortion. Fair enough. I just have little to say about a debate where the other side’s arguments are basically sophisticated versions of “me feel good when stick pee-pee in pussy, me big dick, me make baby, baby good” and “me feel good when pee-pee is in pussy, me ‘modern woman’,” because this is basically what the PIV discussions reduce themselves to.

At least the other sides in the abortion debate have arguments. They’re not particularly good arguments, but they have substance to them. But then again, it looks rather better to argue against abortion than to argue in favor of tens of millions of unwanted pregnancies and the exploitation of women all over the world, so I understand why PIV-positive dupes may not want to think about it too much.

28 thoughts on “Abortion is only one part of the problem: so is PIV.

  1. 60y9s April 29, 2012 at 21:32

    My basic position is that under the conditions of capitalism and patriarchy, ALL sex is rape, i.e., occurs under conditions where consent is impossible to determine. Consent can only be established unambiguously when all other factors like the economic motivations and ideological indoctrination (like the kind we see in the culture which values women as instruments of sexual pleasure), cultural values etc., are removed. Until such conditions of perfect equality are established between men and women, consent remains unproven. As a result, we should practice strict asexuality till such conditions of perfect equality and freedom are created.

  2. […] Abortion is only one part of the problem: so is PIV. […]

  3. FCM May 4, 2012 at 07:45

    you do realize you have to turn in your radical man-cred (and your penis) now?

    but seriously, this is where anti-natalists go off the rails and i am glad to see that one (and you are so far the only one i have seen) isnt, or at least you have righted yourself. you arent getting much of a response i see. interesting.

    also, the sex-negative accusation is interesting, bc the fun fems will fight you tooth and nail over anything PIV-critical, but then they say that YOU are the one who is equating PIV with sex. that you are privileging PIV over and differentiating it from all other sex acts (by wanting to remove it from the menu) and that therefore it is YOU who are making the false equivalency, not them. they just think its ONE thing, that its NOT a PIV=sex=PIV situation in their minds, they like ALL THE SEX! the nex-negative equation notwithstanding, of course. apparently they arent so good with the maths, because that is exactly what that means. they also wont admit that PIV really *is* different from all other sex acts bc it causes pregnancy and is the only thing that does, and that its harmless. even though they are all on the fucking pill. it is, quite literally, insanity.

    • Francois Tremblay May 4, 2012 at 12:14

      Yes. Well, I apparently have no funfem readers, which is too bad, or they’re afraid I’ll blast them for expressing their opinion, a fear which may or may not be warranted depending on their level of intelligence.

      Antinatalists don’t seem to be much for radfem. When I started talking about the patriarchy, that only cemented their opinion of me as a complete whackjob (apparently you can only be radical about one thing at a time? is that a rule?). Oh well, what can you do.

  4. Randy Paré June 28, 2012 at 14:29

    Um… you folks are bat-shit cuckoo crazy. “all sex is rape?” PIV is wrong? Seriously? Other sex-related acts can be fun but by no means are remotely as fulfilling as PIV.

    • Francois Tremblay June 28, 2012 at 14:37

      … when did I say anything about sex? My entry was about PIV, not sex. But I didn’t even say all PIV was rape! My only use of the word “rape” in the entry is in talking about uxorial (husband-on-wife) rape. So where did you get this idea?

  5. Randy Paré June 28, 2012 at 15:07

    60y9s’ comment “My basic position is that under the conditions of capitalism and patriarchy, ALL sex is rape, i.e., occurs under conditions where consent is impossible to determine.” and your seeming agreement with it.

    • Francois Tremblay June 29, 2012 at 00:10

      It was a conditional statement (“under the conditions of…”). I never agreed that ALL sex was rape.

  6. spurdo sparde September 1, 2012 at 17:31

    penis in vagina :DDDDDD

  7. r.j. paré September 2, 2012 at 02:06

    and where on earth do you guys get the stats that only 15-35% of women can have orgasms from PIV? By no means will I suggest I have I slept with a representative demographic, but I can at least attest anecdotally that I have never been with a woman who could not. LOL

    • Francois Tremblay September 2, 2012 at 09:04

      Yea, this blog is obviously a place where you can brag about your sexual prowess. Wow.

  8. r.j. paré September 2, 2012 at 09:42

    Admittedly – I could not resist the funny… But when I run into pov’s that I cannot fathom [anti-natalists for example, or anti-PIV in this case] I find humour to be a natural recourse. Otherwise, how does one respond? PIV being viewed as inherently cruel or hateful? I can’t begin to understand how any heterosexual could take the single most pleasurable act on the planet [for both men and women] and twist it in such a fashion. {smh}

    I could sooner go without food – then good, good loving…

    • Francois Tremblay September 2, 2012 at 10:17

      Here’s my guess: maybe you shouldn’t read antinatalist blogs. If you want to read blogs that glorify consequence-less male sexuality, you have no paucity of choices. Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out.

  9. r.j. paré September 2, 2012 at 11:55

    Did I suggest “consequence-less” male sexuality? No. I do believe in safe-sex [unless one is trying to have a baby]. I just don’t believe “safe” involves the extreme of not having sex, LOL. I also don’t see much point in existence if we were to abandon having children.

  10. jamayla September 2, 2012 at 15:31

    To an extent, I see what the original post is going for – I do find our culture’s overemphasis on PIV to be sexist (most women can’t orgasm from it, and many find it painful) and heterocentric. The argument that it’s a generally abusive practice is kind of silly, though.
    I don’t have much of any sex drive; and quite honestly, penetration is something I mostly do to make my partner happy, in much the same way that someone who hates sports might go see a ballgame with their football enthusiast partner. Relationships involve compromise. Of course, not everyone is comfortable making that sort of compromise; and it’s wrong to bully people into doing something they don’t want to do, but that doesn’t characterize all or even most women in relationships.

    For instance, you’re aware that lots of women actually enjoy PIV intercourse, right? And that it’s possible to enjoy a sexual experience without having an orgasm? It’s not just something that women grudgingly do for men. Furthermore, pregnancy and birth experiences aren’t uniformly traumatic, either.
    I wasn’t intending to become pregnant when I did, but I did; and I didn’t experience my pregnancy or the birth of my daughter as anything negative – carrying and giving birth to her made me feel vibrant and alive in a way I’d never experienced before.

    Basically, if you’ve never had the experience of nourishing a tiny person with your body for nine months and beyond, you should probably stfu about how it feels.
    ..and even if you have HAVE experienced it, you should still stfu and stop assuming that your opinions can even come close to representing those of all women.

    “and where on earth do you guys get the stats that only 15-35% of women can have orgasms from PIV? By no means will I suggest I have I slept with a representative demographic, but I can at least attest anecdotally that I have never been with a woman who could not. LOL”

    When researches survey sexually-active women on how frequently they orgasm from PIV sex, similar numbers to ^those usually pop up, and straight dudes express ~total shock~, like they apparently don’t know just how easy it is to convincingly fake an orgasm.

    • Francois Tremblay September 2, 2012 at 17:55

      You don’t tell me, or anyone, to shut up about speaking the truth. I get my radfem understanding from women who are no less women than you. If they ever tell me to shut up and stop writing on radfem topics, I will, but I’m not listening to you.

  11. jamayla September 3, 2012 at 17:45

    “I get my radfem understanding from women..”

    ..whose experiences don’t even come close to representing those of most women. You’re not actually listening to women; you’re merely cherrypicking the subset of feminist opinions that best suit your purposes, and then having the gall to smugly represent yourself as “speaking the truth” to a woman who’s actually experienced the stuff you’re babbling about.

    Yet another reason why the vast majority of “male feminists” are full of shit – you’re just using feminism as a flimsy cover to lend support to your own pet issue (in this case, anti-natalism). The moment any woman calls you on your shit, you turn into the very embodiment of the patriarchy you claim to despise.

    • Francois Tremblay September 4, 2012 at 00:13

      “You’re not actually listening to women; you’re merely cherrypicking the subset of feminist opinions that best suit your purposes, and then having the gall to smugly represent yourself as “speaking the truth” to a woman who’s actually experienced the stuff you’re babbling about.”
      … radfems do not experience PIV? That is so dumb that I don’t know if you’re for real or not. Are you actually saying you’re the only woman who’s ever had a penis in her vagina? If not, what the hell are you trying to say?

      “Yet another reason why the vast majority of “male feminists” are full of shit”
      I agree, actually, that “male feminists” are full of shit. I have an entry in the queue that explains why men cannot be feminists. Obviously, I do not claim and have never claimed to be a feminist, because that would be stupid.

      Next time you try to insult me, at least try to base it on reality.

      “you’re just using feminism as a flimsy cover to lend support to your own pet issue (in this case, anti-natalism). The moment any woman calls you on your shit, you turn into the very embodiment of the patriarchy you claim to despise.”
      Again, I never claimed to be a feminist (or to not be patriarchal, for that matter). And what “shit” have you called me on? You have expressed your feelings about my entry, which are overall negative, but you haven’t presented any facts. And you have stated that you had a child, so you’re hardly unbiased on the natalism issue. Of course you are going to defend your decision, even if it’s a terrible one.

      I agree that there is plenty of tension between antinatalism and radical feminism, but… again… I never said I was a feminist. And this blog is about four positions, antinatalism and radical feminism being two of them. I can hardly believe you read any number of posts from my blog and think it’s all about antinatalism. Frankly, you’re full of it.

      Now if you want to back any of your statements on PIV, you’re welcome to do that… but implying that radfems have not experienced it is just dumb.

      By the way, you call me smug, but you sure as a smug little shit, slinging insults like you do. At least I’ve got a basis for what I say, and I lay it out on my blog. What’s your basis? What blogs or thinkers influence you? What principles do you apply on feminist issues like pornography, prostitution, sex-positivity, and gender essentialism? As far as I know, you’re just some random asshole who doesn’t know crap about crap. Why should I give you any credibility whatsoever?

  12. r.j. paré September 3, 2012 at 18:09

    Well, jamayla, I hope my previous partners did not lie about orgasms [I know I have always been perfectly willing to, and excuse me if this is “too” graphic, use manual manipulation to finish my partner off if I wind up cumming before them]. I would not imagine that on those occasions, if they were faking, they’d want me to continue and finish them off… But anything is possible I suppose.

    However – I do apologize if any of that was too graphic for a comment thread..:)

  13. Alexander Mcnabb March 24, 2013 at 18:41

    The consequences of this line of reasoning falls neatly in line with Joe Haldeman’s “Forever War” in which society eventually enforces homosexuality as the norm and declares heterosex a criminal offense. I would be rather curious as to how one disconnects so far from reality as to declare regular old reproductive sex as a form of patriarchal oppression and de facto rape. I’m sure that in the transhumanist utopia when all humans are breed through selective eugenics in a tube your ideas might finally allow us to move beyond the “sexist” idea that women and men should have any sexual intercourse whatsoever. Until then, anyone subscribing to the notion there is something “wrong” with PIV intercourse is railing against millions of years of evolution.

    • Francois Tremblay March 24, 2013 at 18:46

      And where, prey tell, did I state that all reproductive sex is rape? Someone in the comments did, but it wasn’t me.

      And I support evolution, so I don’t know where you got the idea that I am “railing against evolution.”

      You are grasping at straws. Why don’t you stop doing that and come out with your real problems with the entry? That I am attacking your male privilege and entitlement to PIV sex? Boo fucking hoo.

  14. […] monomaniacal focus on gender egalitarianism, the radical feminist narrative here still ends up with dildos as the […]

  15. […] that other political debates were straw men used to deflect attention from the real issues. The abortion debate hides the PIV issue. The gun control debate hides the issues of American violence specifically, and […]

  16. […] have been a number of entries written against PIV sex, including two of mine (here and here). Here are some […]

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: