Another list of reasons to have children…

This list, analyzed by Childfreedom, is not the most creepy I’ve posted, but probably the most retarded.

1) Having a captive audience. Who better to listen to your cheesy renditions of bed-time stories than a wide-eyed child? Or your off-tune renditions of lullabies?

2) Best cure for loneliness or boredom. It takes a lot to sever your relationship with your child. Sure, it takes a lot of love, time and understanding, but tell me something worthwhile that doesn’t require effort? Put some love and time into it, and it’s probably your best bet for a lasting, close relationship with another person.

3) Relive your childhood. If there were things you loved about your childhood, you can recreate them. Things you hated? You have a chance to set them right.

4) Live comedic performances for free. If a 1-yr old baby playing fetch with your labrador or dancing in the buff to a Michael Jackson tune won’t make you smile, nothing will.

You’ve sold me. I do want my own little personal servant whose life I can mold so I can live through it vicariously!

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