MRAs are motivated by frustration at not getting laid.

I’ve often wondered how many MRAs are motivated by frustration at not being able to enter in meaningful sexual or intimate relationships. This entry from the anti-MRA blog We Hunted the Mammoth ponders the same thing.

There are a lot of angry divorced men in the MRM – including some with several divorces in their past. The standard MRA explanation is that these men come to the Men’s Rights movement after being “raped” — their word, not mine – in divorce court, or kept apart from their children by angry exes.

But I don’t think that’s it. Many of the angriest don’t even have any children. I suspect that the rage they feel is more like the rage of Elam’s hero – a rage borne out of a deep sense of sexual humiliation and the loss of control over the women who have rejected and abandoned them.

The anger of many younger MRAs seems to have a similar psychosexual source. These are the young men who rage against “friendzoning” and wax indignant about “false rape accusations” and “yes means yes.” In their mind, women are the “gatekeepers” of sex, and this frustrates and sometimes enrages them.

19 thoughts on “MRAs are motivated by frustration at not getting laid.

  1. Miep July 19, 2015 at 20:15 Reply

    Yet if I tell these self-same men, that there are those who feel entitled to shove things up these men’s posteriors, and feel affronted at not being allowed to do so, they will show no sympathy at all. I just don’t get it.

    • Francois Tremblay July 20, 2015 at 01:30 Reply

      Well no, because gayness is icky and gross. Even though they also admire gays for being women-free. It’s all very confusing. I mean idiotic.

  2. oopster74 July 20, 2015 at 02:40 Reply

    We don’t get a lot of that in the UK, we just seem to get on with things, although we did have “Fathers for Justice” a few years ago. If you haven’t heard of them, they were mainly divorced fathers who dressed up in superhero costumes and protested the unfairness (as they saw it) of the divorce courts when it came to their children. I think a “Batman” famously scaled and protests at Buckingham Palace a few years ago. I think someone went a bit “too far” with a protest ( I can’t remember what ), and they decided to disband shortly agterwards.

    I believe that we should have equal and fair rights, but from what I’ve read of MRA groups (and this is mainly from feminist blogs), then they appear to be extremist groups, and that’s never normally a good thing.

    • Francois Tremblay July 20, 2015 at 03:23 Reply

      I thought I banned you. Did you change computers or something?

      • oopster74 July 20, 2015 at 03:27 Reply

        No, I thought you’d banned me too, but then assumed you’d changed your mind.

        • Francois Tremblay July 20, 2015 at 14:19 Reply

          Oh well. I guess you get a reprieve, like those guys who get executed but the machine doesn’t work.

          • oopster74 July 20, 2015 at 15:03 Reply

            Delete this bit as it’s just to you. I guess i must’ve pist you off with something I said, it’s a skill I have lol. Seriously though, I don’t go out of my way to upset, I just don’t always phrase my comments in the best possible way, and if someone attacks me / pisses me off, then I can get all pissy too, I try to be better than that but I’m only human.

  3. plasticgirl July 20, 2015 at 04:12 Reply

    What use is a woman to a man, if she has made clear that her “gate” to her sex is closed to him? (besides mothering and cleaning up after him and making something in the kitchen). Really, for a sexually desirable and fertile woman to so blatantly reveal her sexual disinterest in a man… why should he ever interact with her at all after being friendzoned? She’s useless to him.

    • oopster74 July 20, 2015 at 05:53 Reply

      That’s a very cynical PoV there pg.

    • Francois Tremblay July 20, 2015 at 14:31 Reply

      Yea exactly, a gatekeeper that never lets anyone in, that’s just a really bad gatekeeper am I right?

  4. objectivethinker73 July 20, 2015 at 19:43 Reply

    Uh, I dont know what MRA means to you, but I suspect you are talking about Mens Rights Activists? Most of them are married and have kids, so they are getting laid. I am a feminist and I resent you resorting to ad hominen attacks like these it doesn’t help feminism. You can attack MRA’s for many other things, come on. Men who get involved in feminism are often exactly what is wrong with feminism, women have to straighten out the messes men make

    • Francois Tremblay July 21, 2015 at 00:03 Reply

      Sure you’re a feminist. Suuuure.

      • oopster74 July 21, 2015 at 02:19 Reply

        You’re probably both right you know. I can imagine there’s decent mra’s and bad ones. Unfortunately, it’s always the ones shouting the loudest (normally the bad ones) that get all the attention, good or bad.

  5. Norton July 22, 2015 at 06:13 Reply

    Some anarchists believe in sex everywhere. What about masturbation in the public (presumably next to a beautiful woman)? Or does this require consent?

  6. L July 23, 2015 at 20:31 Reply

    I’ve only recently learned about mrm/mra, but they concern me and not just b/c the movement seems to be mostly about hating women and denying that misogyny exists.

    They bug me b/c they don’t seem to have any *actual* interest in doing anything to help men. When men speak out about an issue, people listen-instead of complaining about Mad Max, mra’s should be focusing on helping homeless men, men with mental health problems, men who face police abuse and so on.

    (The parallel is not the same, but the mrmr reminds me of white power movements).

    • Francois Tremblay July 24, 2015 at 00:19 Reply

      You’re right, it ain’t got nothing to do with helping men or men’s rights. It’s about patriarchal backlash.

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