By: Stone Beefgun firstname.lastname@example.org June 19, 2016 Updated: June 19, 2016 at 8:17 pm
Rock Lesford has been praised by many members of our community for his evenhandedness. For a long time, it was believed that Lesford was completely color-blind, making him treat people of color as if they were not being systemically discriminated against. Then it was revealed that Lesford was also gender-blind, and expected men and women to think and act the same regardless of socialization. Now, new information has been released indicating that Lesford may actually have been legally blind this whole time.
“Eye exams have revealed that Mr. Lesford is color-blind and gender-blind,” said Dr. Minmax, optometrist at Manly Hospital. “He’s also shape-blind, texture-blind, movement-blind, and light-blind. In short, we believe that Mr. Lesford is actually blind.”
Lesford has yet to make any comments, as he had an accident on Gunshow St trying to get to our station. No one was hurt, but the car was totalled.