Things that make you go hmmm…: MRA edition

When The Victim [type of abuser] joins an abuser group, his story tends to go like this: “I put up with my partner’s mistreatment of me for years, and I never fought back or even tried to defend myself. But I finally couldn’t take it anymore, and I started to give her back a little taste of what she was doing to me. So now I’ve been labeled abusive. Women are allowed to do those things and nobody cares, but as soon as a man does it h’e s pariah.”

This line of reasoning many times develops into a discussion of how men are the victims of women overall in society, because women run the world. This is a startling distortion, given what gender actually dominates almost all legislatures, police departments, judgeships, businesses, and so on ad nauseam. When I point our this reality to the Victim, he describes a kind of paranoid fantasy in which women are behind the scenes secretly pulling the strings, largely by getting men to feel sorry for them. His capacity for turning things into their opposites in this way is a central cause of his abusiveness.

Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?

4 thoughts on “Things that make you go hmmm…: MRA edition

  1. John Doe August 16, 2016 at 22:56 Reply

    Sorry if I’m drawing attention to myself, but this exactly what I feel as an LGBT.

    For example, have you ever heard of the “Tomodachi Life” incident? What basically happened is that there was an option that included same-sex couples in the game, but then Nintendo got rid of it citing it as a glitch. They came under sharp criticism…and everyone shot back at us calling us pissy bullies who wanted to control everything, as if we had some kind of power.

    • Francois Tremblay August 16, 2016 at 22:58 Reply

      “Playing the victim” is a tactic used by a lot of abusers and exploiters in many different domains, yes.

      • Kendall August 17, 2016 at 10:20 Reply

        Yes! I notice this too. Here’s a good example; men not being allowed to sit next to children on airplanes. They think airlines trying to protect kids is THE MOST TERRIBLE THING, and don’t give a damn that multiple CHILDREN have been abused on airplanes by men. Many men think that their ego being questioned is the ultimately worse crime in the world.

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