So how come there aren’t any male rape victims and male-on-male rape depictions in media? I’ve been consuming a large variety of media, and I cannot recollect a single male raped by another man being shown on tv. We know it happens in real life, we know men suffer even worse in silence and shame, so how come media isn’t willing to give them any representation? Men control large majority of the media, how come they aren’t willing to put some light on this issue?
I believe the answer lies otherwise. I believe what we do see in media – women being raped by men, constantly, violently, graphically depicted and terrifying – it’s not representation. It’s a scare tactics.
How does a woman feel watching other women being raped on the screen, often shown to add the shock value, often accompanied with blood, screaming, struggle, violence, helplessness, what is happening inside of her head? She’s imagining how it would feel happening to her. She’s experiencing it inside of her head. She’s reliving every bit of sexual abuse and aggression directed to her in her life, already knowing how humiliating and devastating it feels, and she sees it happening again, and again, to women. And then, she gets to watch the victim, broken, suffering, trying to find justice and getting laughed at, getting blamed, invalidated, shamed and abandoned by law enforcement, sometimes even “friends” and family. And she knows it could happen to her. She feels less safe in the world. She knows if it does happen, she will be blamed for it. She knows the rapist is most likely to walk free from the event, never facing consequences.
I think, that’s the message media is trying to send to women, this is what we’re doing to women, this is going to happen to you too if we get you, be aware of how much we can hurt you, better do as we say and hope we don’t do it to you. If raping women in real life sometimes wasn’t enough to make every single woman aware and terrified, then male-dominated media managed to make sure that every woman knows and experiences rape in an indirect way.
If media was doing the same with men, how would it affect men? If we were watching male-on-male rape scenes shocking us in the middle of movies and series, if it was all over the news, commercials, newspaper reports, radio, if you could no longer find a series when men doesn’t get raped by another man, if they were the ones repeatedly watching their own sex getting violated, torn apart, if they were forced to imagine how it would feel being damaged and humiliated that much, if they would have to spend their time imagining their body being used as a thing, beaten and forced into submission, overpowered and helpless and penetrated, and then blamed and ridiculed for it, how would it affect their psyche?
I don’t think men would feel just as safe going out at night anymore. I don’t think they could walk close to a stronger man without considering if that one would be the end of them. I don’t even doubt that male-on-male rape rate would skyrocket, men seeing someone else do it only lust for it more, and wont have peace until they’ve raped someone on their own. Men receiving the message that they’re just as rapeable as women, and other, more sadistic men receiving the message that raping another man might bring them the similar superiority, power and satisfaction would cause many, many more male rape victims.
So, that’s what’s being done to women. Men aren’t even ashamed of being rapists and promoting rape culture, they’re using it to further terrify and subjugate women, making rape seem like such inevitable event in women’s lives they can even say “what were you expecting” to raped women. They want women to expect it.
Now, showing male rape victims in media wouldn’t help one bit, and it’s by no means what I wish to happen (unless they’re getting help to recover, and not a scare tactics). Instead, I want the focus to change. I don’t want any other rape to be depicted in media, not in movies, or series, or pornography (basically shut down pornography already). I want to put focus on rapists receiving rightful consequences. There’s no reason to actually depict rape, it’s enough to imply or mention it happened, women shouldn’t have to experience or relive it, and they should keep their dignity on the screen at least. I want rapists to be shown caught. I want rapists to be shown prosecuted. I want every rapist to be shown undergoing a painful, torturous castration. This can be depicted as graphic as desirable. I want men to watch it. I want every man to see not one, but multiple cases of rapists caught, imprisoned, and publicly tortured and castrated. I want to see pain, tears, struggle, screaming, begging for forgiveness, begging to be spared, beyond even imagining to blame the victim or pretend they didn’t do it. I want men to know, deep in their core, that’s what they’re consenting to if they rape someone. I want them to know, if they even consider another woman, man or a child as nothing but an object of their sexual satisfaction, that’s the punishment they’re looking at. I want every man to be so utterly repulsed and disgusted of rape it’s impossible for them to even imagine it. I want them to know the punishment will come after them, surely and definitely. I want them to be aware that they will not be able to get away with it. I want them to know they deserved it for raping another human being.
So let’s try that, and see if rape rates drop.