Purple Sage discusses the difference between female and lesbian identification (identifying who) with the transgender co-opting of identities for their own sexual and gender play (identifying as).
Transgenderists will claim that so-called “TERFs” have created an identity out of our biology and that it threatens our identity when others identify outside their biology. No, it doesn’t, because we haven’t created “identities” out of our biology, we are just naming our biology. It is just there. It’s not an identity, it’s a reality. Saying “I’m a woman” is naming the reality that I have a female body. Nothing that transgenderists do or say can threaten to change the fact that I am female. My body is not an idea or a feeling, it is something real and no idea or feeling can change that…
No one has to validate my “identity” as a lesbian, because this isn’t an identity I have constructed for myself. I am female and attracted to females; this is actually located in material reality and can be directly observed. The word “lesbian” only exists to describe my actual situation, it’s not a concept that exists outside of me that I aspire to be. My female biology is an observable fact. The fact that I live in an apartment with another human with female biology is an observable fact. The fact that we have one bedroom and one bed, which we both sleep in, is an observable fact. So is the fact that we kiss each other, say “I love you”, leave each other loves notes, spend holidays together and file our taxes as a common-law couple. If someone chooses to look at the facts and conclude that I am not a female homosexual then that person is simply a liar.
If someone is male and calling himself female, I don’t have to take that identity seriously because that is not true. Someone male cannot be female, it is scientifically impossible. He may have an ‘identity’ as the social category ‘woman,’ but I am allowed to disagree with the way that the social category of ‘woman’ is constructed because it harms me as an actual female.
The man who “identifies as” a woman is dependent on other people playing along for his “identity” to be real. He cannot realistically be said to be “living as a woman” if everyone around him acknowledges he is male. No one should be forced to play a game of “let’s pretend” if they don’t want to play. We should not have to validate things about other people that aren’t true. You can identify as anything you want, but if I can see that you’re talking nonsense, I’m not going to take you seriously.