Choose Your Own Adventure: The TERF Lair

The transgender cult has been making great headway into Western cultures. With the current renewal of Choose Your Own Adventure books online, one enterprising soul has written a CYOA book especially for transgender people. I think this is really powerful stuff, and a great tool to teach children about respecting the wide variety of genders that exist. I’ve published the beginning of the adventure for your enjoyment (sorry I could not copy the instructions and character creation).

***

Before you begin the adventure proper, please check that you have adjusted your attributes based on your PGS (Position on the Gender Spectrum). See the Gender Spectrum on page 3. Also check that you have written down your GITs (Gender Identity Traits) from the table at the bottom of page 3.

Enter 5 in your TERF points box, because everyone has prejudice against transgender people. If you reach a total of 10 TERF points, you become one of the bigoted, slavering monster scum inhabiting the Lair, and your adventure is over.

Now, proceed to paragraph 1.

1

You approach the entrance to the dreaded TERF Lair, an unassuming small square building with thick double doors. A Royal Soldier in full armor and holding a sword guards the entrance to the Lair. As you are a mere adventurer, you will probably not be allowed in. What do you do?
Say “Hello Mr. Soldier, how are you?” – go to 2.
Say “Hello Ms. Soldier, how are you?” – go to 3.
Ask them what their preferred pronouns are – go to 4.

2

The soldier takes on an enraged expression. “How dare you misgender me, you cis scum!” yie screams. “I identify as an agender queer aromatic demisexual!” You have offended the Royal Soldier and yie charges at you. You must fight to the death.

AGENDER ROYAL SOLDIER
preferred pronouns: yie, yey, sheeit
HP: 14, ATK: 1d (hit on 6+), DEF: 4

If you survive the fight, take a penalty of 2 TERF points for misgendering and proceed to 5.

3

The soldier takes on an enraged expression. “How dare you misgender me, you cis scum!” yie screams. “I identify as a furry agender aromantic sapiosexual!” You have offended the Royal Soldier and yie charges at you. You must fight to the death.

AGENDER ROYAL SOLDIER
preferred pronouns: yie, yey, sheeit
HP: 14, ATK: 1d (hit on 6+), DEF: 4

If you survive the fight, take a penalty of 2 TERF points for misgendering and proceed to 5.

4

“Thank you for being so considerate of my feelings,” said the soldier. “My preferred pronouns are yie, yey, and sheeeeeeeit. So few people even bother to ask. Because you’ve made me happy today by acknowledging my innate sense of identity, I will let you pass into the TERF Lair. But don’t tell anyone!” Yie smiles and put a finger to his lips. Substract 1 TERF point from your total for good behavior (but keeping in mind that being nice to one transgender person does not make you non-bigoted) and proceed to 5.
Note that the agender soldier has a PGS of 6, and therefore you receive no modifiers from a successful interaction.

5

You open the double doors to the Lair. They lead you to the interior of the building, a small square room with wooden stairs leading downwards. You go down the stairs and find yourself in the Lair proper. Roughly hewn rock form the walls, while the floor is made of wooden planks. You walk down a corridor devoid of features except for torches set into the wall. There is a door at the end of the corridor.
If your PGS is to the right of 8 (i.e. you are femme-adjacent), your feminine intuition and skill at finding things tells you that one of the torches looks unusual. It appears to be sitting on a hinge. If you move the torch, go to 6.
If you are unable to move the torch, or choose not to, you open the door at the end of the corridor. Go to 7.

6

Struggling with the torch due to your feminine weakness, you finally get it to lower. A secret passage immediately grinds opens on the right-side wall. You crouch through the opening and find yourself in a small, dark hole dug into the rock. There is a treasure chest, which you open daintily (so as not to break any of your nails) to reveal a blue shield inside.
If you decide to wear the blue shield, please note that the shield increases your defense by 2, but also shifts your PGS one position to the left (substract 1 from your current rating) due to its masculine color. If you have been transed by this change, go to page 5 for the gender transitioning rules. You may take off the shield at any time to nullify the PGS shift.
Seeing nothing else in the hole, you crawl back the way you came and open the door at the end of the corridor. Go to 7.

7

You open the door and find yourself in what looks like a kitchen and eating area. On one side, a fire oven (currently not burning) is flanked by counters and cupboards. You shudder at the thought of what TERFs might desire to cook. The rest of the room is occupied by long wooden tables and chairs. There is nothing on the tables. There are two corridors leading away from the room, one on the left and one on the right. What do you do?
Look into the cupboards at the peril of your own sanity, if you have not already – go to 8.
Leave though the left corridor – go to 9.
Leave though the right corridor – go to 10.

8

You investigate the cupboards. They are mostly empty, except for two items:
* A pink cupcake adorned with a mysterious design on its icing, which looks like a mouth with thick lips, but vertical instead of horizontal. There is a dot near the top of it. This appears to be an occult TERF symbol. The cupcake was probably baked recently, as it looks fresh.
* A little toy truck which is neither blue nor pink. Unless you are agender, non-gender, or neutrois (i.e. your PGS equals 6), you must add 1 TERF point to your total if you take this item, because toys which are not blue of pink are a TERF plot to erase gender differences.
Pick up any items you wish, if you are able to do so, then go back to 7 to make a different choice.

9

You walk down the left corridor, which leads into a large but low room. There is a second level to the room, but it is blocked by a thick layer of fabric. Light filters through the fabric, giving the area you are in a ghostly appearance, as if it’s not quite real. There are ledges on all sides that would be accessible if you could get through the layer of fabric. What do you do?
Try to break through the fabric – go to 11.
Return to the kitchen area – go to 7.

10

You walk down the right corridor, which leads into a large room. There is another corridor at the other end of the room. This seems to be some kind of armory, as you see armor and weapons on the walls. Most of them are damaged, as TERFs are constantly losing battles against the righteous forces of Good. There are also a lot of broken pieces of equipment on the floor. There is one item that is in pristine condition and highly polished: it is a double-bladed axe with a symbol engraved on it, two intertwined circles with crosses coming out of them. What do you do?
Take the axe – go to 12.
Return to the kitchen- go to 7.
Continue forward- go to 13.

11

You touch the ceiling. It seems to be made of cotton. What happens next depends on your PGS.
If your PGS is between 1 and 9 – You try to penetrate the fabric but you are incapable of doing so, despite your best intentions. You rage against the injustice of it all, but the ceiling continues to taunt you. You must return to 7 and make a different choice.
If your PGS is higher than 9 – You have no problem putting your arms through the fabric, but now you must hoist yourself up. Roll 2d: if you roll under your Strength, you are able to lift yourself up to the second level. If you fail, you lose 1 HP due to your exertions. You may try to repeat this attempt as many times as you want. If you are unable to make it, return to 7 and make a different choice. If you make it to the second level, go to 14.

12

You take the double-bladed axe, and immediately feel your entire body burning. What you have just picked up is a labrys, a magical weapon made by bigoted monosexual femmes to kill transwomen. This is a weapon of pure evil, and by touching it you have doomed yourself to become a TERF. For the rest of your life, you will roam these corridors as a murderous agent of Evil. Your adventure ends here.

13

You walk through a winding corridor which leads you to a wooden door. You open the door and find yourself in a huge room. At the center of this room is a giant golem, which looks as if it was chiseled from a gigantic block of iron. The golem appears to be sad.
“I’m in my time of the month,” says the golem with a booming voice that reverberates inside you. “So I’m not really feeling it right now. Couldn’t you just go away? I’m having a craving for desserts, get me one and I’ll let you pass.” What do you do?
Give the golem a pink cupcake, if you have one – go to 15.
Give the golem a tampon, if you have one – go to 16.
Fight the golem – go to 17.

14

You have successfully broken through the cotton ceiling. You feel very satisfied by your accomplishment. You find a slightly used tampon on the floor, which you can take. You leave the room through a corridor in front of you. Go to 13.

15

The golem roars. “How dare you give me this feminine food! I identify as a primarily male trigender transracial hobbit! I’ve had enough of you weirdoes misgendering me!” You must fight the golem, but first add 1 TERF point to your total for misgendering the golem.

TRIGENDER HOBBIT-IDENTIFIED GOLEM
preferred pronouns: he, him, smallself
HP: 32, ATK: 2d (hit on 9+), DEF: 6

If you reduce the Golem to 16 HP or less, go to 18.

16

“Thank you, but I find that your gift is based on TERF misinformation. One does not need a front hole to menstruate. In fact, the best menstruators are people who do not have front holes at all.” Add 3 TERF points to your total for your enormous blunder. If you become a TERF due to this event, the golem will crush you immediately, ending your adventure here.
“You should be ashamed of yourself for your intolerance. But I have to… go to the bathroom now. So you may pass. If you are still here when I’m back, I will kill you for sure.” You do not ask any questions and continue forward. Go to 19.

17

The golem roars, rearing its enormous fists to hit you.

TRIGENDER HOBBIT-IDENTIFIED GOLEM
preferred pronouns: he, him, smallself
HP: 32, ATK: 2d (hit on 9+), DEF: 6

If you reduce the Golem to 16 HP or less, go to 18.

18

“I’m feeling more like a woman right now,” said the golem. “I’m tired of fighting. Can’t we all get along? I’m just a tiny little female hobbit. Why are you trying to kill me? You’re so cruel, trying to kill a tiny widdle hobbit.”
You feel ashamed for attacking a hobbit-identified person. You walk around the golem, who is now crying on the floor, and continue forward. Go to 19.

***

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