Consensual sex

* in consensual sex you can stop at any time for any reason
* in consexual sex if something happens that makes you feel uncomfortable or weirds you out, you can walk out of the door and get out of there without any consequences, without having to explain yourself
* in consensual sex you never have to explain why something is uncomfortable or why you don’t want it done to you
* in consensual sex if you even think about wanting to stop, you don’t have to think twice before saying it out loud
* in consensual sex nobody should ever be telling you “you’re spoiling the mood” or “don’t be like that” when you’re unwilling
* in consensual sex, nobody should ever be talking you into something you said no to
* in consensual sex, nobody should be trading future favours in return for you agreeing to something you don’t want to do
* in consensual sex, you should never be forced to demonstrate how much you trust your partner by letting them do whatever they want
* in consensual sex you never have to shut down your instinct that something is wrong
* in consensual sex, nobody should ever be doing something to you that you mentioned, implied, or explicitly stated you don’t like being done to you
* in consensual sex, you should never be made to feel guilty or not good enough
* in consensual sex, you should never have to expect emotional abuse, insults, pressure, guilt and shame if you refuse to participate or do as you’re told
* in consensual sex, nobody should ever try to push, break, or crush your boundaries
* in consensual sex, nobody should ever make you feel like you need to reconsider or push at your own boundaries
* in consensual sex, you shouldn’t feel fear, not at any point
* in consensual sex, you shouldn’t feel like your relationship with this person depends on what happens in bed
* in consensual sex, you should never feel like it’s not okay to say no to something

if you can’t say this is true for your sexual experiences, it wasn’t consensual sex.

2 thoughts on “Consensual sex

  1. Deep Thinking February 19, 2018 at 02:47 Reply

    “It needs extreme self-gaslighting to induce this double-speak of the mind: If consented to, slavery is freedom. If consented to, pain is pleasure. If consented to, submission is liberation. As if it were not actually slavery, or pain, or submission that are the problem, but a lack of consent. As if there was a right to be enslaved, in pain and submissive.”
    – IceFireMountain, ‘Sacred Kink II: Rebels Without A Cause’

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