Skippy the Skeptoid: Why This Whole Trans Thing is No Big Deal

Skippy the Skeptoid here again. Ever since Tremblay stopped writing his awful communist diatribes on this blog, he’s basically let me write my own stuff, which is great! I think this blog is a lot better now. That’s why I’ve decided to write to you again so soon.

One of the things he was going on about was this whole trans thing. Gender doesn’t exist, transwomen are men, and other “out there” things like that. I am a skeptic and I base my positions on evidence, not some weird “prime directive” philosophy. I love Star Trek, but I don’t think Tremblay really understands what the Prime Directive is. Anyway, I’m not a transphobe like he is. Okay, this whole trans thing is really blown way out of proportion.

Feminists complained about the “cotton ceiling,” an attempt by transwomen to get lesbians to have sex with them more. So what? What about MY cotton ceiling? NO woman wants to have sex with me, especially not when I try to explain to them what skepticism is all about, like how everyone is just a bunch of sheep and how playing chess is logically impossible. One woman accused me of mansplaining. That’s ridiculous. If anything, it should be humansplaining, because I am a humanist and I believe there’s no reason to single out one gender like that.

Let’s talk about the evidence. So the feminists say that we all have a biological sex and that’s what determines whether you’re a man or woman. Well that’s just silly: you can’t reduce everyone to their genitals. What about women who get hysterectomies? What about eunuchs? What about people who are XXY or XYY? There are so many ways in which your genitals or chromosomes can vary that it just makes no sense to talk about biological sex.

And yes, I know people are going to comment that it’s a fact that sexual reproduction evolved, and since I believe in evolution, I need to accept biological sex. But that’s a misunderstanding of how we skeptics understand evolution. You see, evolution is kinda like our equivalent of Jesus: we don’t care what it says, as long as we can make it say what we want it to say. Okay? If I take evolution to mean that sexual reproduction doesn’t exist, then that’s what it means. And you can’t argue against that, because it’s my interpretation, backed by all the evidence for evolution. Everything I say is backed by that evidence. Feminism basically has nothing.

Further proving my point is the clownfish, which changes “sex” whenever it needs to. I mean, this is science. Well, they do change sex just so that the female can be dominant, but you can ignore that because it doesn’t fit what I’m talking about. What you need to concentrate on is the “sex”-changing part. Transgender people are exactly like clowns. Clownfish. That’s what I wrote the first time. Shut up. Humans are exactly like clownfish in the one respect that I want them to be. It’s called an analogy, but for real.

Skepticism is simple, folks. All it means is that you have to look at the evidence. You need to prove your claims. And the claim that “biological sex exists” is simply not proven. Biological sex is not proven, therefore it is false. That’s called a fallacy of ceteris paribus in nomine. Read Carl Sagan and detect the baloney, you dopes.

Feminists are complaining that men are taking over their safe spaces. But what do they need safe spaces for? Men and women are both human, we all have flaws. Where is MY safe space from women? Women ruin skepticism with their false harassment claims. They’re ruining movies now. They’re ruining conferences. And yet you don’t see men complaining about losing their safe spaces to transmen. Now why is that? Could it be because feminists are making false accusations against transgender people for the sake of their agenda?

Physicists tell us that space is a boundless four-dimensional continuum. Space is big. You just won’t believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. If it’s so big and boundless, then how can you make it safe? Things will always come into it, like quarks, electrons, and lesbians. A truly scientific person would accept that and move on. But feminists are quacks who believe that women deserve equal pay. HAW HAW HAW! Haven’t they heard about a little thing called pregnancy? Hello? Women get pregnant, so you can’t pay them as much. It’s simple biology, folks.

The whole idea that men are using transgenderism to oppress women is ridiculous. When have men ever used gender-based ideologies to oppress women? It’s a bunch of fear-mongering. Women need to be pressured to have children because we need to raise the next generation of skeptics (boys, of course). Otherwise we’ll have Idiocracy and the believers in ghosts and ancient astronauts will outbreed us, creating a new society where paranormal TV shows, gift shops, and New Age bookstores will crush the scientific spirit. It’s enough to make you want to kill yourself, folks. Keep thinking logically.

Skippy the Bush Kangaroo Skeptoid

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