The Ideal Citizen.

What are the properties of the ideal citizen? While everything about this creature cannot be known, we do know some things from what the State tells us.

* The ideal citizen is not too concerned with his rights. Whatever the state tells him is okay. The police is there to help him.

* The ideal citizen has as many white children as possible for the fatherland, and teaches them to speak English (the ideal citizen being, of course, white, rich, and an English speaker). His culture and way of life must be preserved, and thus the ideal citizen has no qualms about sacrificing his well-being for it.

* The ideal citizen votes at every election, because he knows that his vote counts.

* The ideal citizen goes to Church every Sunday, because without religion we truly have nothing at all. All good people subvert their personal values for the good of the moral fabric.

* The ideal citizen consumes, consumes, consumes.

* The ideal citizen not only pays his taxes in full, but wants to pay his taxes. After all, taxes pay for good things, like the police, the roads, the War on Drugs and an ever-expanding military.

* The ideal citizen never gets sick, or if he does, he at least tries to shoot for a disease curable in pill form.

* The ideal citizen never makes a racist joke or pinches anyone’s butt.

* The ideal citizen does not eat hamburgers, hot dogs, chips, donuts, cake, or anything fattening. Remember, fat people are not actually human.

* The ideal citizen does not drink, smoke or take drugs.

* The ideal citizen always wears his seatbelt or helmet. Forget about the actual science- they’re good for you.

* The ideal citizen does not worry when the militarized police breaks in another home by accident. After all, everyone has done something wrong. We all deserve punishment. When you want to stop sin in your society, you have to be ready to break a few eggs. The ideal citizen never worries, because he has nothing, absolutely nothing, to hide.

Based on these, our supercomputers have compiled a picture of the ideal citizen: