I found out recently that many feminists are just starting into awaken from the sexual entitlement crap that men put out. I really hope everyone who reads my blog knows all this stuff, but just in case these things need to be said:
* Men don’t need to have sex. Anyone who says they do is trying to manipulate you.
* There is no such thing as “blue balls.” Anyone who tells you they are in pain because you won’t let them ejaculate inside you is trying to manipulate you.
* Erections are not painful. Anyone who says he’s in pain because of an erection you gave him is trying to manipulate you.
* Anyone who has sex with you without giving you at least one orgasm is either a lazy asshole or sexually uneducated. What the hell people, every heterosexual man should know how to give a woman an orgasm, this is basic stuff. Don’t treat it as if it’s normal, don’t ever stand for that shit.
* You do not have to have sex with a man because you made out with him. Anyone who says otherwise is a rapist.
* Men do not need pornography in order to masturbate any more than women do. Any man who tells you he needs his pornography is lying.
I don’t want to be condescending by pointing out this basic stuff out, but as an ally one of my roles is to speak loud and clear against this sort of male manipulation so I thought I should write this. Again, I really hope I’m not telling anyone anything new, but if I am, and you are in a relationship with someone who exhibits such behavior, consider it a big red flag.
The Prime Directive 
I like this and linked it on facebook. Got back a criticism, though, that men don’t give women orgasms, it happens naturally when she is relaxed. Legit and worth considering, I thought.
What? What does that even mean?? I asked Alison and she doesn’t get it either.
I think it means that an orgasm isn’t a thing one person gives another, it’s more of a phenomenon that happens under the right conditions.
Whether it’s a “phenomenon” or not, how is it also not a “thing one person gives another”? It’s an action that one person performs to give pleasure to another person (or themselves). So… ?
It’s a gift in the sense that. shared experience is a gift. It’s not something one person gives to another.
Look, all I’m saying here is that men need to take responsibility for giving orgasms to their partners. I think phenomenon-talk is diverting away from that…
I think we’re gonna have to agree to disagree on that one. Either way, I hope we can agree that a woman not having an orgasm during sex is not a great “shared experience,” and that it’s a good thing to speak up against it.
It’s about whether sex is something one does with someone or to someone. “Giving a woman an orgasm” implies that sex is something a man does to a woman. I’ll bow out of this conversation if it’s making you uncomfortable, but I won’t agree to anything about doing so.
I really don’t understand your criticism. How would you suggest that I rephrase the point? Because from this “orgasm is a shared experience” perspective, I don’t see how one could possibly formulate women’s frustrations with sexually selfish men. Can you explain to me how you see the issue?
“It’s about whether sex is something one does with someone or to someone. “Giving a woman an orgasm” implies that sex is something a man does to a woman.”
What? That doesn’t make any sense. How does one specific kind of orgasm imply “sex”? A man can give a woman an orgasm, a woman can give a man an orgasm, a woman can give a woman an orgasm, a man can give a man an orgasm, etc. I’m concentrating on one particular form of orgasm because it’s a problem of male sex entitlement, which is the topic of the entry.
“every heterosexual man should have sex with a woman” yea that’s male entitlement if I’ve ever seen it
So you’re agreeing with me or…? Your comment is a little ambiguous.
Miep, you wrote: “It’s about whether sex is something one does with someone or to someone. “Giving a woman an orgasm” implies that sex is something a man does to a woman.” But PIV IS something ‘done’ to a woman with the implication that it should give women orgasms (this goes back to Freudian days). That’s not ‘with a woman’ at all as it’s completely selfish, since most men orgasm from PIV and refrain from returning oral sex or asking/doing what is pleasurable to women. And most women do not orgasm from PIV or penetrative sex alone. http://www.feministezine.com/feminist/modern/The-Myth-ofthe-Vaginal-Orgasm.html
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